The Choice

IUI or IVF? That is the question.

Originally, I was planning to do IUI (intrauterine insemination) where they just squirt it in, turkey-baster style. The sperm would come frozen, they'd thaw it, and then do the deed. I had no reason to think I'd need anything more advanced; I'm 34 and all signs and tests pointed to being very fertile.

So the plan was to start this past April 2025, working to avoid delivering when work is busiest (September - December). As a business owner, it would be too stressful to deliver during that time. Of course, I can't control when I get pregnant (as my mom reminded me as I was telling her my plans, "kids are anything but convenient!"), but I can at least control when I don't get pregnant.

So, I was ready in April, but after doing some labwork, I found out I was no longer immune to the measles (I guess immunity fades over time), and there's currently an outbreak in my state (thank you, anti-vaxxers). Since the measles can cause pre-term later, I decided to get re-vaxxed, and you have to wait at least 30 days after that vaccine to get pregnant, so I missed the April-May cycle.

The next month, I ovulated on Saturday and lo and behold, my (prior) clinic wasn't open for IUIs on weekends. What a joke. I've since changed clinics.

As I waited for my body to do its thing and bring on another cycle, I decided to do an optional HCG test that would confirm both of my fallopian tubes are open. I figured it couldn't hurt (except the fact that it literally hurt like hell as they pushed dye through my fallopian tubes), and I would hate to have some issue that I didn't know about and waste time, money, and hope on IUIs.

I'm glad I had decided to do it, because I found out I only have one open tube (the left one). That means that I can only try insemination on the months where I'm ovulating from the left side, and each month is a crap shoot with which ovary decides to release the egg of the month.

I'm sure you can guess which side I ovulated from the very next cycle. The closed side.

So here I was already 3 cycles in and I still hadn't even gotten to try yet. It was then that I decided to do IVF instead. I've waited 34 years already to be a mother, I don't want to keep waiting if I can help it, and I worried that IUI would be unsuccessful anyway and I'd waste time, money, and hope.

IVF has a much, much higher success rate (like 5-8 times as successful as IUI), and you can test the embryos to reduce chance of miscarriage and abnormalities (PGT-A testing). It also bypasses the tubes altogether, so that issue no longer matters. And a fun bonus, you can choose the gender.

So, IVF it is! But, the downsides? It's very intensive with self-injected meds and countless appointments and tests. And the cost? $30,000. All out of pocket.